What to 'do?

I think it's time that I talked about hair.

^^This is me, age 7,  the boyish cut. At this point, I sported the Cosco dungarees and some pretty sweet turtlenecks. I was not to the point where I cared about being "girly". Shout out to my sister Margot, and thanks Mom for making us wear matching curly girl jumpers. That's the best.

^^This is my license picture; sixteen, braces and all. I was a charmer let me tell you. I was fresh into high school and was trying to find my place. Every girl I knew had long, straight, beautiful hair and I did not. My curls were wild and I could not control them. I kept my hair straightener close, because it was my way of fitting in and making myself look "normal". My hair was never healthy, and I was a pretty large dork.
This is the longest that my hair has ever been ----------->

I tried many different styles. I had bangs at one point, which did not last very long, I also reduced it to many different lengths in order to try and fit into my own skin I guess you could say. It took me a long time until I figured it out. Near the end of my junior year, I decided that I was tired of caring what people thought of me, and I was ready to be my own person instead of pretending to fit in with everyone else. "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" -Dr. Seuss
So I did not ask anyone's opinion, I just decided to get it cut. And this was my first cut.

I was watching the movie "Ghost" when I decided to get it cut, and Demi Moore was my inspiration. I stepped into my own shoes at that point. and took my own path, instead of the easy one. Since then I have decided to keep it short, I think it suits me more. I have also dyed it numerous times. When I met Christopher, he thought I was a natural red head, and I think it was a month into our relationship until he realized that he wasn't in love with a real ginger.

Shortly after that I had Christopher dying my hair------>

At the beginning of the summer, when Chris and I expected to be apart for four months, I decided that I was going to grow my hair out. It seemed like the perfect time because I did not have to wear the toques that we have to at school, and I would be able to style it and grow it out. It got pretty crazy, and then he arrived and I decided to cut it off because it was driving me nuts. (Just to clarify, I did not cut it off). Plus the humidity down there just volumized my curls. So I threw the "letting it grow" out the window.

The last time I decided to  dye my hair was a disaster. Unfortunately I do not have any pictures. But it took three tubes of different dye to get it to the color that I wanted it. Note to self, DO NOT USE LIGHTENING DYE. I looked at the box and said to myself, "Self- that's the color that I want my hair to be." The part I didn't look at was the fact that this was ultra lightening, and on the side panel was a color chart. It mentioned that if your hair was a dark brown, it would turn out to be the color on the front of the box, but if your hair was light brown, it would turn out orange....which it did.

Now it has been around four months since I have ben growing it out. I did get the top thinned out a bit so that I didn't end up with an afro, but I have really been trying to stick to the plan of growing it out. It has not been long since I was fifteen, and Chris is convinced that it would probably look different now. So this is what I have been aiming for Jordan Baker hair from The Great Gatsby. Unfortunately, the in between stage is getting to me. And I think my hair has taken on more curl than it had in the past. As I have mentioned, I am going a little crazy about my hair. This is what my hair looks like in the morning.

Today Chris and I picked out a color for my hair, hoping that a change in color would satisfy my hair disliking dilemma. Unfortunately it unevenly colored my hair, although Chris would say I was beautiful no matter what (bless his soul). Not to mention I took the texturizing scissors to the incredible thickness of my hair on the top of my head.  But I may just ride it out depending on whether I wake up tomorrow hating it. I know this may seem crazy to many of you- dying my hair and just trimming some off without a care in the world, but it doesn't really scare me that much. If I end up hating it, or messing it up, all I have to do is get in the good old Volvo and drive over to the salon, where they will give me a quick cut, and I will have short hair again. Hey, at least I know I like it short. But who knows, a new day- a new hair 'do.